


Houses of the holy

by Sunkenfox



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Uses Actual Words, Depressed Dean Winchester, Destiel - Freeform, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 02:55:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30116094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunkenfox/pseuds/Sunkenfox
Summary: Months has passed since Cas died, and Jack had taken his role in Heaven. Dean had given up hope for himself and his future. He lost his chance and being with Cas. Hundreds of unanswered prayers finally get answered, and Dean get’s a second chance.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 7





	1. Lonely is the night

**Author's Note:**

> Not really a fix-it more just an idea I had kicking around in my head. Takes place post finale, but Dean doesn’t die. Instead he’s depressed. 
> 
> Tags will be added as I go.

Several months had passed since Cas had been taken by the Empty. Jack was in Heaven, fixing the place, making it truly a paradise. Sam had Eileen, and Dean was utterly alone. 

He felt it in his very core, a burning inside that dared to rip him apart. He had tried to go out on a few hunts with Sam, and by himself. But it didn’t relax him, not like it used to. It used to be after a successful case, Dean would be able to get an extra hour or two of sleep, nowadays he gets even less.

The bunker was more empty than normal. Sam was spending more and more time at Eileen’s. Dean didn’t blame him, he wouldn’t want Sammy to sit around while Dean deals with his issues. He wants Sam to live his life, it’s all he’s ever wanted. 

But that doesn’t mean it’s not hard, being alone all the time. He’s tried to pray to Jack, but he never gets an answer. He knows that Jack is busy, there’s a lot of wrongs to right in Heaven. The fleeting thought to pray to Cas had passed his mind several times, but Dean knows that it's hopeless. 

The sound of Cas’ confession to him that day in the dungeon replayed over and over in Dean’s head. It taunted him, flooding his mind whenever he finally got a moment's peace. Bringing back the painful memory of losing his best friend. 

Dean wandered the bunker, closing his eyes as he passed the door to the archives. Beyond those doors, hidden away was the dungeon. The last place Dean ever wanted to step foot into again. Making his way to the kitchen, he grabbed a beer from the fridge. Better to drink and forget. But he couldn’t forget. 

Sitting down at the small table in the room, Dean used his ring to open the bottle. Drinking down half of his beer in some long gulp, Dean slammed the bottle down with more force than he planned. His thoughts raced, desperate to be rid of the voice of the angel saying what he always wanted to hear, but never like that. 

The sound of footsteps cause Dean to focus on the environment around him. He looked over at the entrance as Sam stepped down into the kitchen. He was carrying two large paper bags, the smell of the food inside made Dean realize just how hungry he was. 

“Hey, picked up dinner on the way back. Take out,” Sam stated, placing the bags on the table. 

Dean grinned, “Awesome.”

Even with the pain of what had happened, being with Sam did make things easier. His brother was there for him, even if Dean never told him the full truth about what had happened. 

Sam smiled, it was rare these days to see Dean happy, even if he was faking it to make him feel better. He saw his brother change these past few months, since Cas died. He watched as Dean fell deeper into his depression. Sam could tell that there was something that happened that he didn’t know about. He didn’t press though, he knew better than that. 

The brother’s ate their food, making small talk. Dean didn’t want to talk about him, instead he listened to Sam go on about what he and Eileen had been getting up to lately. They had recently gone on a few cases, all within a few hours of Lebanon. Sam still didn’t want to be too far from Dean, given his current emotional state. 

“So, you spend the night with her a lot. You gonna move in or something?” Dean asked, his mouth full of food. 

Sam smiled, even so down, Dean was still Dean. “Uh, no actually. I was thinking of asking her to move in here. With us? If that’s okay with you?”

“I’m fine with it. I’m happy for you, Sammy. I still say she could do better. But hey, sometimes we settle,” Dean replied smiling, his cheeks puffed out from the food he was still chewing. 

“You are so annoying, Dean.”

Dean was happy for his brother. As much as he joked about Eileen being able to do better, they were perfect for each other. He knew Sam had a crush on her when they first met her on a case. And even after everything, and her death, Sam wanted her. He was broken when she died. When Sam brought her back, Dean knew that this was it. He had finally gotten his second chance. His real second chance. It was all he ever wanted for Sammy. 

But Dean also knew he’d never get a second chance. He barely even ever had a chance, at least when it came to relationships. Every single one was doomed from the start. He had something good with Lisa, but it was such a bad time for him. In the back of his mind he always felt like he entered into it only because of the impending doom, and then Sam going to the Cage with Lucifer and Michael. He was alone and he didn't want that. 

Then there was Benny in Purgatory. But that was never meant to last, and they could barely admit to it once they left. A vampire and a hunter, that’s a laugh. It was never meant to work out. Dean wanted it to, he really did. But in the end, he had to kill the thing he loved to save his brother. 

There was also Crowley, but Dean was a demon. It was toxic and bad. If things were different, and Dean wasn’t a demon, he wasn’t sure if that relationship would have ever happened. When he was a demon he had let go of his human emotions and issues.

Dean always knew he was into men. It was never an issue when he was drinking and enjoying one night stands with random men from bars. But when it came to relationships it was a whole other story. Years of repressed emotions, internalizing phobias, and the bullshit his father put into his head. Sex was sex. But when emotions came into play it made it more real. 

He wished he could have put those issues behind him before that fateful day. He wishes he could have told Cas how he felt sooner. He felt so stupid for telling Cas to ‘not do this’ when he told him he loved him. Instead he wishes he would have said it back. But with everything going on in the moment and Death literally banging on the door, Dean didn’t want to let him go. 

Dean tried to tell himself for the first few weeks that if he said it back to Cas, then it would have hurt more. But not saying it at all burned, it was a pain that never went away. He sunk deeper and deeper into a depression, knowing that he had and still does love Cas, but he would never get to tell him that. 

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Several weeks passed, Eileen had moved into the bunker. Dean was grateful to have another person there. It wasn’t so empty any longer. At least when they were all home. They tried to get him to go on cases with them, or even just one of them. But he refused. 

Sam was concerned for his brother. It wasn’t like him to pass up a chance to kill some monsters. It had been almost six months. Dean rarely left the bunker, only to take Baby out for a spin or for supply runs.

The younger Winchester had tried everything to get Dean to open up and come out of his shell. But the harder he pushed the more Dean fell into the hole. Finally he gave up, not wanting to open wounds that needed to heal. He knew that Dean would eventually need to talk about it. 

That day finally came a week after Eileen moved in. Dean was becoming envious of their relationship. He didn’t realize it at first, but soon he knew it was jealousy. Sam recognized this as well. He knocked on Dean’s bedroom door, hoping they’d finally talk. 

“Come in,” Dean yelled out. 

Sam stepped in, Dean was sitting on the bed, back to the headboard. Sam stood there awkwardly for a moment before sitting down in the chair in front of the desk. Empty beer bottles and food containers littered the room. He would have normally scolded Dean for this mess, but he understood. 

“Dean, we need to talk,” began Sam. He continued, “Ever since Cas and Jack, you haven’t been yourself.”

Dean looked down, he wanted to be angry, wanted to yell at Sam for bringing them up and even trying to have this conversation. But he was defeated. He said nothing, knowing that he would have to listen to Sam telling him things would get better, and he needed to get back out there. 

Sam continued, “Dean, I know what happened with Jack, as do you. We both know he’s okay. He’s just busy. Chuck left a mess up there, and it’s Jack’s job to fix it. It's going to take time. He’ll be back, he’s family.”

“I know, Sammy. It’s not Jack. Though I wish he could answer calls every once in a while. I’m worried about him, but that’s fine. All kids grow up and leave the home one day.”

Sam smiled, “Yeah, didn’t expect it to happen so fast though.”

“Yeah that’s what happens when your kid is half grown the day they are born,” exclaimed Dean. 

“Okay, if it’s not Jack, then Cas. What happened? You never told me everything. Just that he saved you by summoning the Empty, but never how he did it.”

Dean let out a slow and deep breath. “Sammy, he was happy.”

“I don’t understand.”

“He had made a deal with the Empty, to save Jack. His life for Jack’s. But the Empty would only take him once he had a moment of true happiness.”

“What about Billie trying to kill you both was happy?” Asked Sam, bewildered by what Dean was telling him. 

Dean felt like he was on the verge of tears. He had to take a moment to try to calm himself. He didn’t want Sam to see him like that. But the tears fell anyways. 

“He told me he loved me, Sammy.”

Sam was taken back, he had known for a long time now that Dean and Cas had feelings for each other. Anyone with eyes could see that. But he didn’t expect it to ever come out like that. He wondered if Dean knew how Cas felt already. 

“Dean, did you know?”

Dean shook his head, “No, Sam. I should have. God, I should have. I wish I did, I wish I had known sooner.”

“What did you tell him?”

“Not what I should have.”

Sam stared at Dean. “You didn’t tell him you didn’t love him, did you?” 

Dean looked offended, “No! Jesus Sammy, no! I didn’t want him to sacrifice himself for me, so I told him to not do that. I know it was a shitty thing to say, and it broke my heart saying those words. But I don’t know. I guess at the time, I thought it would hurt less.”

“And did it?”

“No. It’s worse.”

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Dean tried to come out of the darkness that flooded him, he really did try. For Sam’s sake. He knew his brother hated seeing him like this, and he hated the pain in Sam’s eye’s when they looked at each other. 

He went into the library to find Sam and Eileen going over a case they were getting ready to head out to. He stood in the doorway listening to them. It wasn’t that far away, but farther than they had been on since she moved in. A half day's drive, probably would take a day or two. A couple of werewolves hold up in a town in Nebraska. 

“Hey,” Dean spoke, causing Sam to stop and turn around, which Made Eileen follow suit. He continued, “I was thinking, I’m probably going to get rusty, and should get back to hunting. So, um, can I tag along?”

“Of course, Dean,” replied Eileen, smiling gently at him. 

Sam gave a half smile and nodded, “Yeah. Want me to start over and go over everything with you?”

“No, I heard enough. I’ll get my things and get the car ready. I’m driving.” Dean smiled. It wasn’t a fake smile, and the other two hunters could tell. 

Soon the three of them were on the road. They got to the small town by nightfall. Finding a motel and crashing into their beds. Morning came too slowly. Dean really did want to get back to hunting. Maybe taking his anger at himself out on monsters would help, just like he used to. 

The day was spent talking to the victims' families and the local police. Trying to figure out where the werewolves were hiding. Finally they found the location, gearing up to head into the abandoned house on the outskirts of town. 

Dean smiled as he approached the building. It felt good to have a gun in his hands again. Sam let him take the lead, but kept a watchful eye out. It had been so long, and he knew Dean wasn’t spending much time in the shooting range. But Dean was as sharp as ever. A little rusty, sure, but not get-them-killed rusty. 

They spent another night in the motel, all of them too tired to make the drive back to Lebanon that night. Dean slept in his blood stained clothes. The smells of the hunt lingered on him, helping him to sleep. 

The three stopped at a diner for breakfast before making the journey home. Sam was happy to see Dean laughing and enjoying himself. But he had a sinking feeling that once Dean got back home, the memories of what had happened would come flooding back. Causing him to fall back into his depression. 

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Sammy was right. Once Dean was back in the bunker it was like the hunt never happened. He tried to hide his pain, but Sam could see right through it. Each room held memories of Cas, taunting him with could have been. And what he had said. 

Dean tried for a few days to pretend like everything was okay. He really did try. But it didn’t matter, he failed. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be the same again. He could try and move on, but how do you move on from something like that? Hell, he could barely move on from any of the trauma in his life. He held onto it, bottling it up, fueling his rage. 

Alone in his bedroom, Dean tossed and turned. Unable to fall asleep. Finally after what seemed like hours, he sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, throwing his legs over the side. He closed his eyes and searched for the words. 

“Jack? Hey buddy, you listening? Please, please listen, man. I could really use you right now,” prayed Dean into the blackness of his room. 

“Look, I know you’re busy with Heaven and everything. But if you could get just a minute free. Think you could come home?”

Dean stared into the darkness. He knew the prayer would go unanswered, as usual. Sighing deeply, Dean went to lay back down. If he couldn’t sleep, he would at least try to let his body relax. 

As soon as his head hit the pillow, the familiar sound of wings swooping down filled the room. His heart stopped, bolting up and turning on the nightstand light quickly. He knew it wasn’t Cas, it was never going to be Cas again. But it was Jack he had prayed for. 

Jack stood in the middle of the room, smiling. He raised a hand, spreading the fingers and said hello. Dean jumped out of bed and grabbed Jack, pulling him in tightly hugging him. 

“Jesus, Jack! I’ve been praying for months, you never answer my calls!” Dean blurted out, not realizing how harsh he sounded. 

“I’m sorry, Dean. There was a lot of work to be done. We finished the biggest project months ago. But there was still work, and there still is. But we are nearly finished.”

Dean held onto the nephilims shoulder. “What was the project? What are you doing up there?”

“I opened Heaven, Dean,” replied Jack. 

Dean was confused, “Opened? Heaven?”

“Yes,” replied Jack, smiling. He went over to the bed and sat down. Dean followed and sat next to him.

Jack continued, “You know, how Heaven is where you relive your memories?”

“Yeah, your golden oldies.”

“It’s not like that anymore. Everyone is free to come and go, visit each other, live. Well, not live, but I’m sure you understand.”

Dean furrowed his brow, he couldn’t believe Jack was able to do that. He didn’t think it was even possible. It made the idea of Heaven easier to think about once he did die. 

“You did this all by yourself?” Dean asked, puzzled. 

“No. I had help. Other angels.”

“I thought there weren't many left?”

“I made more. Heaven is almost back to running fully.”

Dean paused. He was amazed at Jack. Amazed that the son of Lucifer was acting as God now. Fixing Heaven, creating new angels. Dean was glad he had a hand in making Jack the man he is today. 

“Jack, I am really proud of you,” said Dean. 

Jack beamed, “Thank you, Dean. But your prayer? What’s wrong?”

Dean frowned, he didn’t want to bother Jack with his problems. The kid had a hard job that he needed to put his full focus into. He couldn’t force him to stop that in order for him to listen to Dean’s emotional rant that he could feel coming on. There was nothing Jack could do. 

“I just miss you, Jack. This is still your home, you’re still family, Jack. You are a Winchester, and there ain’t a lot of us out there, it’s really just me and Sam. Come home, every once in a while. Please.”

Jack studied Dean’s face. He had missed him so very much. He wished he could have come home sooner. But he couldn’t leave Heaven until it was safe to do so. Safe for Heaven, for himself and everyone. Jack had to be sure that there was no hidden apocalypse waiting in the shadows that Chuck had setup like a trap. Waiting for them to let their guard down. 

“I know, Dean. I wanted to come home, I really did. But it wasn’t a good time. I promise the work in Heaven is nearly done. I’ll come home more then,” replied Jack, giving Dean a reassuring smile. 

“No. You make time. At least once a week, for dinner. You, me, Sam and Eileen.”

Jack paused and smiled, “Okay. I’ll come once a week for dinner. When is dinner?”

Dean grinned, “Thursdays. We’ll make it around six? That sound okay with you?”

“Yes, Dean. I’d love that.”

Jack had to leave, Dean didn’t want him to but he knew that it was for the best. Jack had a job, and he was keeping him from it. Jack vanished, leaving Dean alone in his room. He felt better now that he saw Jack and knew that he was okay. 

Dean couldn’t wait for Thursday, though he did wish that he picked a different day. Given that today was Friday. A week before they would be together again as a family. Almost. There was still someone missing. 

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

The next night Dean was able to fall asleep fairly quickly for once. The promise of seeing Jack again helped to relax him. During the day he had been bright and almost cheerful. Sam was shocked to see him like that. 

Dean had told him about his visit. Sam was overjoyed at Jack’s return. He couldn’t wait to see him again. He missed him dearly. 

Dean’s sleep was dreamless. Better no dreams then to have nightmares. Dean was suddenly jolted awake when he heard the sound of wings coming from far off in the bunker. 

Getting out of bed, Dean mumbled to himself about Jack. 

“Dammit, kid. If you want to come home before Thursday, that’s fine just don’t wake everyone up.”

Throwing on the dead guy robe, Dean groggily made his way to the area he had heard the sound coming from. He could have sworn it came from the direction of the garage. 

“You better not be thinking of taking Baby for a joy ride, kid,” Dean stated as he walked into the massive garage. 

Empty. Dean figured he must have been dreaming and turned back around and headed back to bed. Still half asleep he made his way passed the kitchen, not acknowledging the light on in there. 

Dean got halfway back to his bedroom before he stopped. The kitchen light was on. Who the hell is up and eating at this time of night?! That wasn’t like Sam nor Eileen. 

He went back to the kitchen. Figuring it could have been Jack. Midnight snacks were something he had done. Dean wondered if Jack had come home just for this, not meaning to wake anyone up. 

Dean spoke as he approached the entrance to the kitchen, “You know, if you wanted to come home for a snack you could have done that at any time. No need to be sneaky at night.”

Dean’s smile dropped as he turned the corner stepping down into the kitchen. He expected to find Jack sitting at the table, snacking on cereal. But Jack wasn’t who he found. 

The unmistakable long trench coat flowed almost to the floor, as the angel sat at the table, his back turned towards Dean. Dean froze, he had to be dreaming. This has to be a dream, he told himself. 

“Cas?” Dean whispered loudly. He didn’t care if it was a dream or not. 

Cas turned around, and smiled. 

“Hello, Dean.”


	2. Communication breakdown

Castiel stood up and walked over to Dean, standing a few feet away from him. He was nervous, but the excitement of finally getting to see the hunter after all this time wiped away any doubt he was having. 

Dean was frozen in place, unsure if what he was seeing was real. He didn’t know of any way that Cas could be here if it wasn’t just a dream. It had to be. 

“I’m dreaming. This is all a dream,” Dean muttered to himself. 

Cas’ head tilted slightly, his brow creased in confusion. 

Dean shut his eyes, thinking that if he did he’d wake up in his bed. But once he opened them again Cas was still standing there, studying him with a look of confused curiosity on his face. 

“Dean, are you okay?” Cas asked him. 

“This isn’t real. I’m dreaming,” replied Dean, his voice shook. 

“Dean, you’re not dreaming.”

Dean frowned, there was still no way Cas was really here. His mind raced, trying to figure out how to wake up. Part of him didn’t want to wake up, the loss of this dream would be painful. 

“No, Cas. You’re dead. You’re not here. I’m asleep in my bed.”

Cas took a step forward, reaching his hand out touching Dean’s shoulder. “I’m alive, Dean.”

Dean jolted at the feeling of Cas’ hand on his shoulder. That same hand that touched that same arm to pull him out of hell. And then again to push him aside. Dean felt like he could break, angered at his mind for giving him this dream. Saddened by the fact that when he did wake up Cas would still be dead. 

“Dean, I’m alive. Jack brought me back from the Empty. You’re awake. I’m really here,” Cas reassured him. 

“Cas,” Dean said softly, his voice breaking. 

Dean stepped forward and grabbed Cas, pulling him in to embrace him. Dean held the angel tightly, clenching his coat in his fist. Cas felt real, realer than anything Dean ever experienced in his dreams. 

“Maybe you actually are here. But how? Why?” Dean asked as he pulled back from the hug. 

“Jack, he got me out of the Empty. We’ve been working together in Heaven, restoring everything.”

“But the Empty wouldn’t just give you up a second time.”

Cas nodded, “Yes, but Jack was able to persuade it. It wasn’t easy but he was able to do it.”

Dean stared at the angel, baffled by what he was just told. If Jack could convince the Empty to give up Cas, he was more powerful than they had thought. 

“Okay, but that doesn’t explain what you are doing here? Now?” Dean questioned Cas.

“I thought it was time I finally came back. Time is different in Heaven, you know that. It’s been a while since I’ve been on Earth. And now that we are nearly done rebuilding Heaven, I thought it was a good time. I just seem to have forgotten the time it is on Earth. I’m sorry, you should go back to bed, Dean.”

Dean felt a slight panic, “No!”

“No?” Cas asked in reply, confused by the hunters sudden change in tone. 

“Cas, no. If I’m really awake, I’m not going to go back to sleep.”

Cas frowned, “Dean, you look like you haven’t had a good night's rest in a long time.”

“Oh yeah,” huffed Dean under his breath. 

Cas narrowed his eyes, “Dean, I insist. We can have this conversation in the morning. You look like you are ready to pass out.”

Dean hadn’t realized just how tired he was. Cas was right, he hated it, but he was right. Cas reached out to touch his shoulder again, Dean didn’t have time to react and he was suddenly in his bedroom again. 

“Dammit, Cas.”

Cas smiled at Dean’s reaction. He was still the same, even after all this time, Dean was still just that, Dean. Dean sat down on the bed, never taking his eyes off of Cas. He watched as the angel’s coat flowed around his legs, as Cas walked over to him. 

“Cas?” Dean asked in a whisper. 

“Dean, you need sleep.”

“But when I wake up, you’ll be gone.”

“No, I‘ll still be here,” replied Cas as he reached out, placing two fingers on Dean’s head.

Dean was out before he knew what was happening. Cas laid him back gently, covering him with the blanket that was pulled back. He watched as Dean slept soundly. 

Cas crept out of the room, not wanting to fly out and make too much noise. He wandered around the bunker, peeking his head into Sam’s room. He saw Sam sound asleep with Eileen next to him. Cas smiled, he was glad they were together. 

Making his way back to the kitchen he sat down at the table to wait until morning. He missed this place, it was his home. He could hear Dean snoring, the subtle movements he made as he turned in his bed. Cas smiled, he was happy to be back. 

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Sam woke up before everyone else. Eileen was still fast asleep next to him when he rose, kissing her forehead gently. He made his way to the kitchen to get some coffee in him to start his day. 

Groggy, he stumbled into the kitchen and began to get the coffee pot going. His brain wasn’t fully working just yet when he glanced over at the table seeing the figure sitting there watching him. 

“Hey Cas,” he mumbled. 

“Hello, Sam,” Cas replied.

Sam stopped. Blinking a few times to try and jumpstart his brain. He slowly turned around unsure if he really just saw Cas sitting there. But he did, Cas was really sitting there. Sam’s mouth dropped before he composed himself again. 

He quickly went to Cas, who was now standing before him, and hugged him. He wasn’t sure how this was possible. But Sam really didn’t care at this point. Cas was here, alive, and home. 

“Cas, what’s happening? How are you here?” Sam asked frantically. 

“Jack brought me back. When Dean wakes up I’ll explain everything.”

Sam wondered what Dean’s reaction would be to seeing Cas. Especially after what he had confessed to him earlier. He knew it would be a difficult reunion for the both of them. 

Just as Sam was about to question Cas more, Eileen walked into the kitchen, Miracle following behind her. She stopped, eyes wide at the sight of Castiel. 

“Cas!” She exclaimed. 

“Eileen, hello,” the angel replied. 

Sam went over and gave her a quick kiss, before explaining to her that once Dean is awake, Cas would explain exactly what going on. 

“Okay. Well I’m going to take Miracle out for a walk,” she replied before telling Cas it was good to see him again, before heading out. 

“Miracle?” Cas asked, tilting his head. 

Sam smiled quickly, “Uh, yeah. Our dog. We found him after…” he trailed off, remembering the pain of Cas’ death. 

Cas seemed to know what he was thinking of. His brow raised in empathy. Sam poured himself a cup, asking if Cas wanted some, the angel told him no. Sam sat down at the table, the two of them waited for Eileen to return and Dean to wake up. 

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Dean opened his eyes, the dust from sleep crusted over his lids, making it difficult to open his eyes. Rubbing them, he looked around the room. The memories of earlier in the night flooded his mind. 

_It was just a dream. That’s all it was_.

He got up, lazily throwing on his dead guy robe before making his way to the kitchen for coffee to wake up. He could hear Sam talking, figuring it was Eileen. 

Before he turned the corner to step down into the kitchen he heard it and his heart stopped. Cas’ voice, it wasn’t a dream after all. The voices stopped, Sam and Cas had heard him and were waiting for him to step into the room. 

Turning the corner and stepping down, Dean stared at Cas. He really was here, it wasn’t a dream, and he kept true to his word. He stayed. Dean went over and hugged Cas again, squeezing his shoulder as he pulled back. 

Sam raised an eyebrow before asking Dean if he was okay. 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Dean replied, swallowing.

“Did you sleep well, Dean?” Cas asked. 

Dean nodded, “Yeah, Cas. Thank you.”

Sam was confused, “Wait, Dean did you know Cas was here?”

Dean turned to his brother and replied, “Yeah. I was woken up last night, and found him here.”

Sam looked concerned, wondering if his brother was really okay. He didn’t push it though, he knew it would all come out later on. 

“Oh, okay. Well, when Eileen gets back, let’s eat and Cas can explain everything.”

Dean smiled slightly and nodded. He kept his eyes on Cas, fearful he would leave without notice. Sam began making breakfast, Dean knew he should go get dressed and ready for the day, but he didn’t want to leave Cas. 

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

The three hunters and the angel sat at the table in the library. Empty plates from their breakfast scattered the table. Cas sat next to Dean, watching him as he sipped his second coffee of the morning. 

“So, Cas, what exactly happened?” Sam questioned Castiel.

Cas took a deep breath before beginning. “I woke up in the Empty. I don’t know how long after I died it was. But Jack was there. He was talking to someone, I presume the Empty itself. They were arguing. Next thing I know I was in Heaven.

Jack told me about Chuck, and what he did to him. And how he was now, more or less, God. He got to work creating more angels, making Heaven’s number what they should be. Then Jack and I, along with a group of angels, began to open up Heaven.”

“Open Heaven?” Eileen interrupted, puzzled by this. 

Cas nodded his head once before continuing, “Yes. Before Heaven was closed. Each person had their own personal Heaven. Do you remember it at all?”

Eileen shook her head. 

“Only special cases got to share, soulmates. But it’s all open. People can see their loved ones who have passed on and are in Heaven freely.” He turned to Sam and Dean, and continued, “You’re parents are together, Bobby doesn’t live too far from them. And the roadhouse is nearby. They are happy.”

Sam smiled, thinking about his family, he was glad that they are all together finally again. He wished he could see them, but was glad that his time wasn’t up just yet. Dean’s face never changed, he had a look of concern, yet glad.

Dean spoke, “But what took you and Jack so long to come home? Do you know what we’ve- what I’ve- been dealing with?” He raised his voice. 

“I know, Dean. I’m sorry. It took us a while between opening Heaven and creating the angels. They aren’t being created the same way that Chuck did. We had to train them, teach them about who and what they are. I wanted to come back, believe me, I did. But… I didn’t know if it would be painful.”

“Painful? Why?” Eileen asked, not knowing about the confession. 

Dean looked down. He knew why, he wanted to tell Cas everything about how he truly felt. To apologize for what he said. He wanted nothing more than to let Cas know that he loved him. 

“My death wasn’t traumatic for all of us. I thought it would bring forth pain for all of us,” said Cas.

Dean clung to the words ‘all of us’. He knew Cas meant for him and Dean. But Cas probably wanted to keep that between them. He wondered when he would get a chance to talk to Cas again in private about it. 

“So now what?” Sam asked, taking a drink of his coffee.

“Well, Jack and I aren’t finished. Chuck left a mess, and it’s our job to clean it up. But I’m back, I’ll be here whenever you need me.”

“Wait, are you just going to leave again? You just got here!” Dean exclaimed, raising his voice. 

“Dean, no. I’ll stay if you want me to. But when Jack needs me I have to go.”

Dean settled down, fuming by Cas’ words. He didn’t want him to leave, but knew that Cas had a job to do. It would hurt to see him leave. Cas stared at him, seeing the pain in his eyes. 

“So you are still you then?” Eileen asked Cas.

Cas nodded slowly, “Yes. Well, I’m no longer a seraph though.”

“Wait, what?” Dean questioned, confused. 

“When Jack brought me back, he made some… improvements. I’m an archangel now.”

“Wait, I thought that wasn’t possible,” Sam piped in. 

“I did as well. But Jack is more powerful than we thought. There’s a few of us now, since the originals are all dead, well not Gabriel. He’s also back. But as usual he left Heaven to do his own thing.”

Sam smiled, thinking of his old friend. He was glad that he was alive again. He chuckled to himself, of course Gabriel would run off back down to Earth. Probably to continue being the trickster that he was, having fun and living the life he wanted. He was sure they’d run into him again one day, they always did. 

“So what does that mean?” Dean asked. 

“It means that I’m more powerful than I ever was. I’m stronger, and harder to kill now.”

Dean winced at Cas’ words, he didn’t want to think about Cas dying. Not again. Sam got up and took their plates into the kitchen, Eileen following him helping him. Dean and Cas sat alone at the table. 

“Dean, I hope that my being here isn’t causing any discomfort,” said Cas. 

Dean was taken back, “What? Why?”

“Well, what I told you, about how I feel.”

“Cas.”

“I know it’s one sided, and that’s okay. I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Dean’s face became soft, “Cas, no, it’s-”

Sam entered back into the room before Dean could finish his sentence. Cas watched Dean, unsure of what the hunter was going to tell him. Dean was frustrated at not being able to tell Cas that it wasn’t one sided. He would have to try again another time. 

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Dean didn’t get another chance alone with Cas that day. Every time he did either Sam or Eileen would come into the room. By time night came, he knew that he needed to get it out there. He had to say something. 

He found Cas in the main room of the bunker, near the entrance. Cas was sitting at the table, he looked peaceful, eyes closed, concentrating. 

“Angel radio?” Asked Dean as he approached Cas. 

Cas opened his eyes, and looked up at Dean. “Yes.”

Dean gave him a quizzical look, “You don’t need to go just yet, do you?”

“No. I’m not needed right now.”

“Good, cause you and me are gonna go for a ride.”

Cas raised a brow at Dean, “A ride?”

Dean smiled, “Yeah. It’s been a long time since you’ve been in Baby. Let’s go.”

Cas smiled at Dean. He had missed the rides he had with him. Especially the ones that weren’t on their way to a case, though he did love those as well. He missed being close to Dean. He prayed that things would go back to how they were. 

Dean was behind the wheel of the Impala, with Cas next to him. Music played from the speakers, the windows down and the night air surrounding them. They had no destination, just cruising down the back highway. 

Dean turned down the music, Cas noticed his face turned serious. Dean was unsure how to start the conversation, he wasn’t good with stuff like this, and even though he knew that he needed to get it out in the open, it was difficult. Cas could tell that Dean was deep in thought. 

“Is everything okay, Dean?” Cas asked him.

“Yeah.”

Cas watched him, he could tell that was a lie. 

“Actually Cas, no. Everything isn’t okay,” said Dean, his tone was harsher than he meant to be.

Cas looked down at his lap. “Oh, I’m sorry, Dean. If I’m making you uncomfortable, or you feel things have changed between us, I’m sorry. I didn’t ever mean for things to be like that.”

“Things have changed between us, Cas. But… shit!” Dean slammed his hand down on the top of the steering wheel. 

“Oh. I could go.”

Dean quickly pulled the car over to the side of the road, slamming on the breaks. He turned and stared at Cas, who looked saddened by Dean’s words. Dean’s heart broke, seeing Cas like that. He calmed down, taking a deep breath. 

“Cas, no. I don’t want you to go. Not again. Not ever. Not like that. I need you, Cas,” said Dean. He spoke softer now, almost pleading. 

Cas watched him, eyes narrowed yet wide. “Dean?”

“Cas, let me say this. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I told you not to do that. When you told me how you felt. I only said that cause I knew that that was it. It was the end for you. And I didn’t want you to go. I didn’t want you to die.”

Dean paused taking another deep breath. His hands tight on the wheel. 

“Since you left, it’s been Hell. Every night I have nightmares of that day. And if it’s not a nightmare its dreams of stuff we’ve done together. But when I wake up it feels like a nightmare. I just wanted you back, and the thought of never having you home again, it hurt.”

“Dean, I’m not sure I understand.”

Dean sighed, “Cas, you said earlier that you knew it was one-sided. But it’s not, Cas.”

The angel tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“Cas. Shit!” Dean yelled. 

Dean suddenly got out of the car and walked in front of it. The headlights shining on him. He was frustrated and angry at himself for not being able to get the words out. They were there, on the tip of his tongue, but something held them back. 

Cas got out of the car, never opening the door. He stood in front of Baby, watching Dean. He could tell that Dean was upset, the words the hunter had just told him replayed in his head. Unsure of what was happening, he had a fleeting idea but he thought that there was no way that Dean was saying what he thought he was.

Dean turned to face Cas. “Dammit, Cas. Your confession, it wasn’t one-sided. It took me longer than it should have, and even then I knew, I’ve known for a long time but didn’t want to admit it for some stupid reason. I didn’t even know that you felt that way. I didn’t understand.”

Dean paused. He stepped towards Cas, stopped a foot in front of him. Cas had a puzzled look on his face. The lights from the Impala illuminating them in the darkness. 

Dean continued, “Things have changed between us, and they will never be the same again. And I don’t know if I want us to go back to the way things were. Cas, I love you.”

Cas didn’t move, his lips parted, eyes grew wide. The words he longed to hear for so long echoing in his ears. Unable to speak, shocked and overjoyed at Dean’s own confession, he watched as Dean stepped in closer. 

“Cas, I love you. I have loved you for a long time. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I’m sorry you thought it was one-sided. I’m sorry you thought it was something you couldn’t have.”

“Dean, I thought that you didn’t feel the same way as I do,” Cas finally spoke. 

“No, Cas, I do. I love you.”

Dean stepped in closer, moving his head towards Cas, who was frozen in place. Dean leaned in, his lips mere inches from the angels. Dean closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Castiel’s. The angel’s lip’s were soft and full, they parted slightly, allowing Dean to deepen the kiss. Cas tasted sweeter than anything Dean had ever tasted before. His mouth was soft and gentle. 

Dean pulled back from the kiss. Cas slowly opened his eyes, speechless at what had just happened. Dean smiled, that beautiful smile that Cas loved so dearly. 

“I love you, Cas,” Dean whispered. 

“I love you, too, Dean.”


	4. Bring it on home

The day after their ride, Castiel had to leave again. He had gotten a call on angel radio, and he went back to Heaven. He had promised Dean that he would return soon. Dean believed him, he knew that it wouldn’t be too much longer before he saw his angel again. 

Things were awkward on the drive back to the bunker and throughout the next day before Cas had to get back. A lot had been said, and they didn’t really know where to go from there. But things were different now, for the better. 

It had been two days since Cas left again. Sam was worried that Dean wasn’t going to be okay with him gone again. But Dean was happier than he had been in months. His eyes lit up again, and his smile was genuine. 

Sam walked past the Dean Cave, he heard the tv from within the room, he knocked once and when he heard Dean telling him to come in he did. Dean was seated on one of the old recliners, Miracle at his feet asleep. 

“Hey, Sammy.”

Sam smiled and sat down in the recliner next to Dean’s. The tv was playing one of the cheesy eighties horror films that Dean loved so much. Dean handed him a beer from the cooler on the side of his chair. 

“You seem happy, Dean,” said Sam as he opened the bottle taking a quick sip. “I thought you’d be upset again after Cas left.”

“He’ll be back. Plus Jack will be here in another day for dinner. I’m sure Cas will turn up as well.”

“So you think everything is back to normal? Now that we got Cas and Jack back?”

Dean turned his attention to Sam. “No, not at all.”

Sam looked perplexed, “What? Why?”

Dean took a deep breath, “The night before Cas had to leave again, I told him.”

“Wait, you told him? How you feel?”

“Yeah. I told him everything, Sammy.”

Sam smiled, “And?”

Dean smirked, “And what?”

“Come on, Dean. What happened? Are you two together finally?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think we are.”

Sam beamed at his brother, he was happy for him. Maybe this was it for him, he could finally be happy. He knew Cas was perfect for him, and loved them together. 

“How are you feeling though? I know this is new for you,” stated Sammy. 

“New?”

“Yeah, well, I mean being in a relationship with another guy. I mean, I’ve known for years now about how you felt.”

“That obvious?”

“Yeah,” chuckled Sam. 

“Cas isn’t my first boyfriend, Sam.”

Sam raised his brow, his forehead creasing.

Dean continued, “Yeah, well not really. Benny and I, in Purgatory, we had a thing. I’m not sure what you’d call it. But we were together. But that was Purgatory.”

“That’s why he was so important to you.”

“Yeah, and why his death was so hard. Emotions didn’t play into it the same way they do with Cas. They were there, just different.”

“You truly love Cas. Did you love Benny?”

Dean nodded, “Yeah, but it’s not the same as I feel about Cas.”

“So what are you and Cas going to do now?”

Dean frowned, “I don’t know, Sammy. We really haven’t talked about it yet. We are never going to be a normal couple. I mean he’s an angel, I’m a hunter.”

“You’ll make it work.”

“Yeah. We will.”

***

The day came that Jack would come for dinner. Sam and Dean were in the kitchen, preparing their meal. Dean was making burgers, and Sam was trying to get the dishes done. Sam was making jokes about being amazed that Dean knew how to cook, even though he knew he could. Hell, he had raised him and had been making him food for years. 

When the food was ready, Sam, Dean and Eileen set the table in the library. Dean quickly closed his eyes and said a silent prayer, letting Jack know dinner was ready. The sound of wings filled the room and Jack appeared before him.

“Hello,” Jack said. 

“Hey, kid,” replied Dean. “Where’s Cas?”

“He’ll be here in a minute. He just had to finish something up.”

Dean nodded awkwardly. His heart sank, fearing that Cas wouldn’t show up. They weren’t officially dating, nothing had been said about what was to become of them. Dean feared that Cas didn’t want that. 

But just as the fear began to sink in, the room was filled again with the unmistakable sound of an angel landing coming from behind him. Dean spun around, Cas was standing not two feet from him. 

“Cas!” Dean stated roughly. He both loved and hated how close Cas always was. But when he just appears like that, it was jarring. 

“Hello, Dean,” the angel replied with a smile. 

They found their seats at the table. Sam and Dean sat across from each other as always. Eileen took her place next to him, and Cas next to Dean. Jack sat at the head of the table. They began to pass the plates and dishes, preparing their food. 

Cas who didn’t usually eat, even got his burger ready and filled his plate. He didn’t care if he could only taste the molecules, Dean made it, and tonight was special. 

Jack gave them updates on Heaven, their loved ones who have passed on, and the changes being made. Dean and Cas kept stealing glances at each other. The meal went smoothly, everyone talking and laughing. It was nice being together again, a family. 

Soon the plates were empty, and the bottles of beer multiplied. Leaning back in their chairs, they moved on in the conversation. Sam told Jack and Cas about what had happened after they had left. 

Eileen was soon tired, it had been a long day. Sam yawned, he wasn’t ready for bed, but he knew that Dean and the angels needed to talk in private. The two of them excused themselves and went off to get ready for bed. 

Dean sat at the table in awkward silence. Jack just sat there, smiling. He was happy to be home again. Cas noticed the awkwardness and offered to take the dishes into the kitchen to be washed. The three of them got the table cleared and went into the kitchen to do just that. 

Dean washed the dishes by hand, Jack dried them off and Cas put them away. Dean chuckled to himself, it was funny doing dishes like this with two angels. 

Cas noticed and asked, “What’s funny, Dean?”

“Nothing. Just I’m doing dishes with two angels, one of which is basically God and the other an archangel. If you told me I’d be doing this fifteen years ago I would have said you were crazy.”

“We are family, isn’t this what families do?” Jack asked, his eyes narrowing the same way that Cas’ does. 

Dean grinned, “Yeah, it is.”

Jack handed a plate to Cas. “Here, Dad.”

Dean stopped what he was doing, shocked at what he just heard. He turned to Jack and asked, “What did you just call Cas?”

“Oh, I called him Dad,” replied Jack, stating it as a matter of fact. 

Dean looked to Cas, “When did this happen?”

“In Heaven. Just started one day,” replied Jack. 

Dean nodded and returned to the dishes. Part of him was jealous, and Jack seemed to notice this. 

Jack looked at Dean, and said, “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. You know I see you and Castiel as my father’s. I was wondering if I could call you Dad as well?”

Dean beamed, turning to Jack he pulled him in for a hug. Not caring that he was getting his back wet due to the soapy water on his hands. 

“Yeah. Yeah, no, of course, Jack.”

The three of them continued with their chore, when it was finally over they sat down at the small table. Cas sat down next to Dean, he placed his hand on top of Dean’s. Dean looked at him, his eyes staring into Cas’ before he turned his hand over, interlocking their fingers together. 

Dean turned to face Jack, who was staring at their hands. He had a look of bewilderment and joy. Dean gave a half smile, looking to Cas, searching his face to figure out what to say. 

“Jack, um… Cas, uh, your Dad and I are… well..” Dean began, stumbling over his words. 

Cas interrupted, “We are together.”

Jack looked between them, grinning. “I am happy for you both. When did this happen?”

“A few days ago, I guess,” replied Dean. 

Dean and Cas explained to Jack about what Cas’ moment of true happiness was, and Dean’s own confession. The night went on for a few more hours until it was getting late. Dean, the only human in the room who truly needed sleep, was beginning to feel drowsy. 

“I need to get to bed. I’m sure you both are gonna head back to Heaven,” said Dean as he stood up stretching. 

“Actually, I was thinking I could stay here for the night. If I’m welcome,” Jack replied. 

“It is your home, Jack. That never changed.”

Jack smiled, “Good, I’ll be in my room.” Jack was suddenly gone, and Dean could hear a bedroom door close in the distance in the bunker. 

Dean turned to Castiel, “What about you?”

“I’ll be around, I got nowhere to be as of right now, Dean.” 

***

Dean went off to his bedroom. He removed his button down and jeans, leaving just a black t-shirt and boxers. He rubbed his eyes, yawning, as he got into bed. Realizing the end of the night was awkward, he yelled at himself in his head. 

Not long after Dean fell asleep he was suddenly woken up by the feeling of a presence in the room. Sitting upright, he tried to see in the darkness. Finally he turned on the light on the nightstand, Cas was standing on the end of his bed. 

“Dammit, Cas!”

“Dean.”

“Seriously, I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve told you about this.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just been a while. I thought I could watch over you.”

Dean smiled quickly. He wasn’t upset as he would have been normally. The past few months, waking up not seeing Cas standing there, or him just always being right on top of him, while it used to be annoying, now Dean missed it. 

“You know what, Cas, it’s okay. Stay.”

Dean watched as Cas shifted his feet. He thought about what Cas had said earlier to Jack, that they were together. They didn’t formally talk about it, he didn’t mind, and was glad that it was out in the open between them.

“Hey, Cas?” Dean asked, trying to keep quiet as to not wake his brother and Eileen down the hall. 

“Yes, Dean?” 

“You told Jack that we are together.”

Cas frowned, “Oh, I apologize, Dean. I’m sorry if you don’t want us to be.”

“Cas, stop it. I do. We just haven’t really talked about it. But I do want us to be together.”

Cas lifted his head, smiling. “Good, so do I, Dean.”

“Good, now I need my sleep.”

Dean turned off the light and laid back down. He could hear Cas’ subtle movements. He could tell the angel was trying not to fidget, this was unusual for him. 

“Cas, you good?” Whispered Dean in the darkness. 

“Yes.”

“Hey, just so you know, now that we are together,” Dean paused, trying to push past his anxiety over what he was about to suggest. “You don’t have to stand there.”

“I don’t understand. Would you prefer me to sit?”

Dean laughed slightly to himself, “No, Cas. I mean, if you want to get in the bed with me…”

Cas swallowed loudly. The room was silent, except for their breathing. Dean realized what his suggestion sounded like. He hadn’t even thought of that, of them sleeping together. Not that the thought had never crossed his mind, but in this moment it had not. 

Dean sat up again, leaving the light off this time. He could make out Cas’ form in the darkness. He knew that if he turned the light on he would see Cas staring at him wide eyed. 

“Cas, I mean to cuddle, while I sleep.”

“Cuddle?”

“Yes, Cas, cuddle.”

Cas walked over to Dean’s side of the bed. Dean moved to the other side, giving Cas room. Cas sat down on the bed slowly. 

“Cas,” whispered Dean. 

“Yes, Dean?”

“Take off the jacket. Get comfortable,” stated Dean bluntly. 

Cas stood back up and removed his overcoat, tossing it on the chair in front of Dean’s desk. He then took his shoes off, and sat back down. Cas then realized maybe it would be best to take off his suit jacket and tie. Once he did he got under the blankets with Dean. 

They faced each other, a foot of empty bed separating them. Dean blinked a few times, telling himself this was really happening. Cas was really in his bed. He was really here, alive, and in bed with him. 

Dean moved closer to Cas, he reached his hand up to the angel’s face. He gently caressed his cheek, feeling the stubble along Cas’ jawline. 

“Dean?”

Dean shushed Cas, and pulled him in close. Kissing his lips, parting them with his tongue. Cas closed his eyes, opening his mouth, letting Dean in. Dean’s mouth was soft and arm. Dean let out a slight moan as he deepened the kiss, moving his hand down Cas’ shoulder and back, letting it rest on his lower back. 

Dean broke the kiss, “Cas, I really do need sleep.”

Cas nodded silently. He had kissed people before, but none had felt like that. None has tasted like that. Dean’s kiss was a miracle in it’s own. The hunter’s lips were soft and sweet. 

Dean lifted his head, “Here, Cas. Put your arm under my head.”

Cas did as Dean had said. Dean rested his head on the angel’s arm, moving in towards him. He settled his head in the crook of Cas’ neck and arm. Cas laid there awkwardly for a moment before wrapping his arms around Dean.

Dean snuggled in closer to Dean, putting his arm around him. It felt nice, right even. They fit together perfectly. Dean smiled as he closed his eyes, telling Cas goodnight and that he loved him. Cas told him the same, before gently placing a kiss on his forehead. 


End file.
